Etiquette has historically dictated to a great extent the way people should behave in different situations. With the advent of casual Fridays and mobile phones, it seems that we have more or less rid ourselves of this type of guiding material. Which is a shame...
Most recently I overheard a person explain to another person whose phone was ringing that by pressing the button labeled as "Silence" the user of the phone could choose to not respond to the call, but not hang up the ringing. In effect the caller would then just wait for an arbitrary amount of time before either hanging up or leaving a message. Analogically the situation is same as if the recipient of the call had not noticed that someone was calling.
In my opinion that type of behavior is blatantly rude and arrogant. My personal policy is to answer calls if possible. If answering isn't possible, then I hang up the call with the red button, which gives a clear signal to the caller that their call was acknowledged by not taken, instead of leaving them wondering if the recipient didn't hear the phone or whether they are just ignoring the caller. I also attempt to immediately follow up with an SMS stating that I cannot answer at present but that the person can send me a message or if it is a matter of life and death, call again. If the person calls again, then I will answer the call.
The logic, from my perspective, is very simple and at least I feel that the above method is polite to all parties involved. I do not leave calls unanswered or unacknowledged just because I can, because it is not polite. But if I am otherwise engaged, e.g. having lunch with someone, I do not interrupt the engagement unless there is a heavy enough reason to do so, at which point you of course apologize for the fact that you absolutely must take the call.
That's just of course my take on the subject...
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2 comments:
Actually, if you asked me I might say the opposite (minus the SMS). Letting the call ring through to voicemail can imply that the recipient is unable, for whatever reason, to answer the call right now. The red-button approach, an active denial, can be taken as "I don't want to talk to you", and could be considered the rude response. :P
Good point. There may be a geographical culture issue here. To be honest, I've received about 5 voice mails over the course of my life. I think that this is also the general situation in Finland.
The problem with voice mails is that essentially I give away my initiative the moment I leave a voice mail and ask someone to get back to me. If the other person doesn't get back to me, I have no way of knowing if he is actively ignoring me or simply hasn't listened to his voice mails.
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