Objectivity

Prior to running the half-marathon last spring, I received plenty of advice from more experienced runners regarding how to survive and maybe even get a good time out of the run. The guidance was very good in general, and in retrospect the key issues were where I stumbled horribly (I guess that's why in certain fields academic literature has defined the concept of critical success factor--things that are, well, critical to the success...). I took all the advice, pondered a bit, thought I understood it, and then failed. Knowing is something, applying the knowing to practice is another beast altogether. Next spring when I run the half-marathon again, I'm very confident that based on my previous experience, the results will be better. Heck, they can't be any worse after this spring's run...

Learning for me is a very iterative process. I would argue that it is for most, but recently some more intelligent people have struck the fear of god (or at least the fear of generalization) in me, so I shall not speculate with such broad strokes. You try, you fail, you pick yourself up and try again. And at some point you absorb knowledge and wisdom from other sources, and sometimes it is a really slow process. And when you stubbornly refuse to accept conventional wisdom and rely on your own intuition, you might occasionally be able to create new wisdom. At least for yourself.

There is a Finnish idiom of "Aika kultaa muistot", but unfortunately I can't recall the English counterpart right now. The idea, anyway, is that over time your memories will become distorted and should not be relied on for anything more serious than casual conversation. I'm sure there are plenty of papers explaining the process of taking what originally might have been a relatively objective interpretation and how it becomes very biased and subjective when sufficient amount of time is allowed to pass. This is again conventional wisdom, which I've been unfortunately forgetting. I've been delving on past issues a bit more than I should've during this year. The reasons are many, but none of them are especially good. Personally I experienced how a technically small thing escalated into one of the biggest bogeymen for me. I cannot entirely open the situation up, as I fear that grasping the entire situation is even beyond my capabilities, but sufficient to say that at the same time I loved and hated my experiences. I put them up on a pedestal but still feared them and was angered by them. And eventually they grew very much out of proportion. So what is the way to kill the bogeyman? Stand up, stay firm, and stare it in the eye. And as is often the case, even now the bogeyman didn't appear so terrible anymore once you actually confront it.

The irony here is that as objective as some people (e.g. me) think they are, it is very much an illusion. Actually it is an even bigger irony that I am a judgemental person, and still dare argue that I am capable of objectivity. But I guess that is not an entirely fair statement either. Another funny thing is related to the aforementioned bogeymen. Typically one hides them from general view, but in fact letting the light into the attic, where the bogeyman lives, might very well show that the bogeyman is in fact gone. Clean the dust, do some housekeeping, and the mind becomes lighter and healthier as well. And on that note, I've been playing around with the idea of hiring a housekeeper to come by a couple of times a month to take care of my flat...